On my Mental Health Mobility journey, I made a willing choice to become a bigger participant in my life than depression was. The key was being willing to choose. I was willing to see that depression was not my identity. Something was feeling off and I had a chance to look at what was creating the depression. Sure, I could look at the childhood trauma, repeatedly. I could look at the other stuff that had not gone as planned in life. Or, or; I could look at what I was willing to be rather than be what I was experiencing energetically. I chose to become one hundred percent responsible for MY life.

I had a chance to change the way I was experiencing myself and in turn that changed the way I was experiencing the world around me. I started to understand how boundaries were an effective way to create more harmony in myself. I knew sometimes those boundaries were met with energetic disapproval from others. I was willing to have empathy for their reactions. There was no longer a willingness to subdue my own energy because of others reactions to my boundaries. I was willing to stand in my power. Not rudely, or with ill intent. I was no longer willing to allow other people to create depressive moods in me with their own shame or personal hurts.

I was more willing to do a deep dive into the values and beliefs I held. One of the revelations I discovered about myself was that I did not have a solid foundation to rely on. For years I had been pursuing a spiritual practice, yet I felt lost spiritually. Up until that point spiritually I had been defining myself by the obstacles and hardships I had been through. I had not defined fully how I wanted to live my life or who I wanted to be in my life. My foundation of values and beliefs about myself were lacking. The pain in my mind was a louder vibration than the potential was. I needed to create a solid foundation of beliefs and values that were mine. They needed to resonate with my soul. I overcame depression by being willing to do that deep dive into my soul and find my foundation. A set of values and beliefs that would be a safe place. When my days were bad, or I felt off that foundation would stand its ground and not crumble.

My foundation all started with my own relationship with myself. I am willing to look real in front of people rather than wear a mask. I stepped out of a world of defining myself within the societal status quo. A paycheck, house, career, and status have never defined me at a soul level. Yet for years I lived that energy and became something I was not. That was my choice, which was my path, and that was how the Everywhere Spirit showed me who I truly am. I discovered the space in life for me that allowed me to release energy in my mind that was causing disruptions. I redefined what felt fulfilling to me. The materialistic aspect of life I pursued created separation in me from my true energy and identity. I was no longer willing to be what I wasn’t.  I was willing to become honest with myself. Interestingly as I started to step out into my truth, I realized that I had never explored what was truly fulfilling for me. We are encouraged our entire lives to fulfill ourselves in a materialistic capacity more than a in the capacity for happiness and true fulfillment of our scared being.

I am willing to speak about my depression because its not all negative. I have learned how to experience immense joy from only darkness. I learned that I am willing to look within to discover what I thought was outside myself. For years I was seeking happiness and experience from things outside me. What I was doing was hiding behind those things to avoid myself. I was willing to live a lie about who I am rather than be real and raw. Sometimes I was a mess. I walked through my world in a fog trying to just get through the day, the night, the week. Rather than be honest that I was struggling, I pretended I was fine, life was fine. Self love grew when I realized I could be authentic and not face the energy of depression from a false narrative. It took courage to become real with expressing I was not fine.

Depression was something I viewed from a unique perspective because I was willing to get real with myself. I saw that I was not participating willingly in my life. I was an identity that was created to fit in. I woke up from depression as I learned to be nothing that was of the senses. My identities were not really me. Time wasn’t fixed in the spaces that held me captive to a mask I wore. To compromise my Spirit was not something that I was willing to live. If it meant falling apart on the materialistic level, so be it. Nothing I own is permanent, it can all be taken from me. And in death, it will be. I am free to live with only the necessities and not over consume. I bonded with nature in a way that allowed me to be small, more sacred and less image.

We thrive when we have a safe place within ourselves to return to when life gets heavy. Having values and beliefs for yourself that guide you in a way you feel connected with is important. Flourishing in your own way and shinning your Light from that space is your Divine right. When our authentic expression in life comes from our solid foundation no obstacles can stand between us and self-love. If I could leave you with the most important gift, I gave to myself as I learned to be a more willing participant in my life than depression it is this. Loving yourself is the strongest foundational building block of them all. You are worthy of your own love primarily. The Divine spark within you holds deep, loving space for you. You are loveable, you are loving, you are loved.

Blessings Daniel


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