Recently I came to the realization the the habits in communication people create over their lifetime can be simply impenetrable. They can encompass a person’s entire life. They dictate their decisions, loyalties, and most definitely their judgments.  The inability to communicate effectively can not only disrupt relationships, but end them.  Here are a couple ways this can happen:

  1.  Always having to look good. Some people have such deep insecurities they won’d deal with and they come to bare daily in their relationships. In their mind, dealing with them would have constituted weakness. Rather than take the time to look within, the problem is always outside them. And the thing these people need more than anything is to go out and get validation from others for what they do. Many times things are turned around on other in order that they look good.  This need is more important than the other’s feelings or needs and ultimately the relationship.
  2. Always having to be right. This is a relationship killer as no matter what the situation, the behavior, or the    ramifications this person has to be right. Even to the point of altering reality in order to do so. Funniest thing about this is this person is most likely they’ve been told repeatedly in a past relationships that they did have to be right. This can cause resentment and anger in this person that is then brought into the next relationship.

Often the reaction is never to look within and see what part they play in ineffective communication, instead they continually lash out and hold onto a perceived slight. Sometimes you have to live it to believe it and often these patterns of communication are not just a part of this individual’s make up, it is systematic in their family.

When communication in a relationship, workplace, social situation, or any personal interaction follows these two blockages it is not communication. It has become a one way conversation. Simply decline to become involved and excuse yourself from the conversation. It may even mean removing that person from your life.


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